Elise’s 100 wc! The Volley girls
It was one of those days. You just didn’t want to end. A Saturday, possibly the best one I’ve ever witnessed! I was at the beach, the wind blowing through my long blonde curly locks. I’ve always liked my hair. I was with my closest friends. Carly and Lola, we all love a band, thier called the volley girls. They’re an all girl band,we could recognize their voices from miles away, we are their biggest fans. “What was that?” Carla asked. There was a gigantic banging noise, I turned round were my eyes decieving me? No, it was really them! Then, I woke up…
October 22nd, 2012 at 13:18
Thats amazing! Watch out for the spelling of Their. I loved your writing. Mabye you could try the next 100wc as well because I think it will be super if you don’t have spelling mistakes. I am looking foward to the next entry of yours!
October 23rd, 2012 at 12:17
Thank you Emma, I will work on my spelling of thier, I will carry on posting. Thanks again!
October 22nd, 2012 at 17:05
That is an unbeleveable piece of writing I just can’t see you not having the best rank! If you don’t, then people are crazy! I thought that you produced some superb verbs, adverbs, adjectives and structure as a result you could and probably would be the best girl writer in the world! I also loved your sharp but simple sentences only because they had numerous things that bought me to life! I think I would follow on from you to produce some incredible work in my literacy book just like you! Do you think that is your best? If Mr. Crilly reads this he would have the same feeling as me probably!
October 23rd, 2012 at 12:14
Thank you Luke, yes, I tried very hard on this writing I wouldnt quite say it was my best though. But thank you!
October 22nd, 2012 at 17:08
You used some very good descriptive words. I very much enjoyed reading your blog. Well done for using a variety of punchuation including speech marks and commas. I loved your creative first sentence! 😀
October 23rd, 2012 at 13:09
Thank you Millie! 😀 I enjoy your blogging too!It’s very kind of you to point out all the good things about my writing, but is there anything I could do to improve? Thanks again.
October 23rd, 2012 at 12:17
Wow!I loved your blog Elise I liked the names you gave your friends.
October 27th, 2012 at 10:41
Thank you Laila!
October 23rd, 2012 at 12:44
Cool Elise! So was it a dream? anyway, Great work!
October 27th, 2012 at 10:40
Yes Jess, it was a dream, I based it on a dream I had a few days ago! Though not with the Volley girls in.
October 23rd, 2012 at 12:46
in this fabulous piece of writing you have used a range of time connectives. If people saw this they would be overwhemled. If you carry on writing like this you will become a famous writer like Rhal Dahl and michael Morpurgo. Don’t forget to use differt sentences.
October 23rd, 2012 at 13:14
Thank you Jack! I will continue to blog and take on your advice. 😀
October 23rd, 2012 at 17:06
cool elise ist so amazing
October 24th, 2012 at 23:25
Hi Elise,
nice post! Where did you get your inspiration? Do you have a favourite band like the girls in the story? Come and have a look at my blog at hannahngps.global2.vic.edu.au
From Hannah
New Gisborne Primary School
October 27th, 2012 at 10:39
Thank you Hannah, I got inspiration from my favourite singer, Zendaya. No I don’t have a favourite girl band. But I like Little mix
October 24th, 2012 at 23:29
Hi Elise,
I like your 100 word challange. In class we did one, feel free to comment on my 100 word challenge at this web address
http://oliviapngps.global2.vic.edu.au/
From Olivia,
New Gisborne Primary School
October 27th, 2012 at 10:37
Thank you Olivia I will look on it now.
October 25th, 2012 at 09:50
you have used a brilliant use of adjectives,adverbs and conectives. I hope you do the next 100 wc.
October 27th, 2012 at 10:36
Thank you James, I will do the next 100 word challenge!
November 23rd, 2012 at 12:14
You have usd great powerful words,verbs and adverbs.AMAZING!